Letter to the makers of “Combos” (the snack treat)

We sent this letter to whoever makes “Combos” a while back. For some reason, they never wrote back.

Monday, February 14, 2005

To Whom it May Concern:

On today, this most revered day of St. Valentine, I purchased a package of your delicious snack treats in the cheddar cheese pretzel variety for my sweetheart in Hoboken, NJ. However, after tasting these “fine delicacies,” my sweetie, Lorraine, expressed concern over your naming conventions. It seems as though your product branding strategy is somewhat askew with this particular snack item. The term “combos” would typically denote a juxtaposition of two or more disparate items, which one might find surprising to appear side by side in a delightful treat. However, cheese and crackers are no strange bedfellows and often appear in many snack foods without such great to-do. In conclusion, we and our makeshift focus group have determined that “Jizzfuls” might be a more appropriate brand title for your product. Please take this under consideration and forward my letter to the appropriate department head. Thank you for your time.

Joe