The Gerald and Mr. Flappy Story, Part 1

Once, there was a man who ate nothing but tuna sandwiches washed down with vodka. He hated tuna. He just ate it because it’s all they fed him at the gulag.
One day a little bird flew into his cell, and he fed it bits of tuna sandwich until it was tame. Luckily, it was a pigeon, so when it grew up, it was eager to deliver messages. He attached orders for the pigeon (Mr. Flappy) to take to the local delicatessen. The delicatessen asked the pigeon to establish a line of store credit, which he did, signing with an ‘X.’
The prisoner, Gerald, enjoyed a fine variety of foods – roast beef, chicken salad, herring, bagels, pickled vegetables, etc.. He started getting fat and lazy, refusing to join the daily prison volleyball game.
Mr. Flappy, who was quickly nearing middle age, began to crave the comforts of a family. He’d watch happy pigeon couples flying off to have lunch, or sometimes brunch, and his little heart would swell with envy.

One day, the deli refused to take any more orders until Mr. Flappy paid up. Gerald decided to win the money through crooked card games with the guards. They all played crooked, so it was hard for anyone to win. But Gerald managed to make enough to pay off the deli guy, with a little money left over. Gerald gave Mr. Flappy the money and told him to get himself something nice.
Mr. Flappy had had his eye on a lady pigeon named Lucille ever since he’d spotted her across a crowded pigeon bar. She was drinking a dirty martini, which was Mr. Flappy’s favorite drink as well.
Well, ever since then, Lucille had been secretly pining away for Mr. F as well. She’d been fluffing her feathers and applying Cover Pigeon brand makeup (rouge and beakstick) specially every day, in hopes that she’d run into him.

To be continued….

The Story, Part 2
The Story, Part 3