The Gerald and Mr. Flappy Story, Part 2

Mr. Flappy had always been terrible at gift-giving, so he decided to consult Gerald on what to give a lady so that she’ll go out with you.
“Well,” Gerald began, lighting a match on the gulag wall, then puffing thoughtfully on a corncob pipe, “women are basically self-absorbed, so if you make them feel like a princess, they’re yours forever.”
But what does a lady pigeon need to feel like a princess?
“I’d say diamonds and lots of ‘em, but you won’t be able to afford that,” Gerald sighed.
Mr. Flappy pointed in the direction of a local shop that sold costume jewelry, made with rhinestones.
“Nah, don’t bother,” Gerald said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Dames don’t want rhinestones. Don’t ask me why, they think they’re tacky. I say who can tell the difference.”
Gerald was, of course, speaking in Russian, but occasionally he lapsed into Polish as a consequence of his upbringing. Mr. Flappy had grown up in Hungary, as a matter of fact, but was brought to Moscow for his schooling. He was fluent in several languages, including Polish, which he learned from his childhood nursemaid, a rotund and matronly pigeon with a tendency to sing ruddy-sounding folk songs while folding things.
Gerald let loose a long string of Polish curses at this moment, having burnt his hand with the forgotten match. He then remembered Mr. Flappy’s predicament and scribbled an order down. As he tucked the order into Mr. Flappy’s wee messenger bag, he reassured him, “don’t worry, I’m not sending you out on an errand at this hour – if you take this order down to the store, they’ll give you the perfect present for your lady friend.”

To be continued…

The Story, Part 1
The Story, Part 3