Walking Tour Part 1: Downtown

At some point after having moved to this town, Laura and I decided that it would be both educational and entertaining to explore our way through some of the bustling, history-drenched neighborhoods this crazy metropolis holds.

After finding a trusty walking tours book we smartly chose Downtown as our first, but not final, destination. As geography would dictate, we began our journey at none other than Battery Park, where we looked out at the water and laughed at New Jersey and the Statue of Liberty. We saw that they were selling a few souvenirs, so we strolled on over and had a look:

After politely declining the crap they were hawking, we wandered our way to the U.S Customs House, where there stood on display some fancy statues representing the continents and history and stuff:

Chris had been to this building before:

We continued our casual stroll, soaking in the lessons of years past. Turns out this here Downtown has many a noteworthy structure, most of which are large, stately, and pertain to some governmental function that isn’t really that fun or a bar. But sure, we saw the Stock Exchange, lots of old-timey homes, and some of them churches the masses love. The ancient graves were a highlight, creepily offering memories of those silly forefathers who wore short little pants and funny wigs. Observe below how Laura tried to recreate one of her favorite Beck moments:

Unfortunately there weren’t any pigeons or casually indie outfits present at this particular moment. My favorite part of the ‘hood is the fabulous Seaport, with its poetically swaying sailboats, wood-planked walkways, and sweet-ass skyline view. Perhaps any old garbage heap would seem mind-blowing when they’re serving giant beers in Styrofoam cups and provide lawn chairs for lounging, but still this spot beats most for a good ‘ol summer sit ‘n look.

Hey, can you believe we didn’t take a picture of the Bull?! Believe me, I wanted to, but the thing was swarming with other ball-pointer-outers and I just didn’t feel like waiting in line for bull testicles, so instead please find a photograph of another, I’d argue awesomer Bull found in exotic Tucson, AZ (it also features balls, glitter speckled balls).