BBC to Scientology: “I ain’t afraid of no Thetans”

The BBC’s Panorama: “Scientology and Me”

Ah, the British.  Whenever I lose faith in America, which happens a few times a day, I take comfort in knowing that there is a major world power filled to the brim with atheists and other smart people.  Instead of bowing to economic pressure like they could have so many times, and like America, um, did, the UK still refuses to recognize Scientology as a religion.  And with good cause, i.e. they’re an evil cult.

Don’t believe me?  Well, check out this amazing episode of BBC’s hard-hitting series Panorama, entitled “Scientology and Me.”  (Tips: You can watch it in parts on YouTube, or if you’re one of those rebellious downloaders, you can get a nice high-quality copy on Bit Torrent).  The episode follows reporter John Sweeney as he investigates what Time Magazine once called “The Thriving Cult of Greed and Power.”

For those already familiar with the ridiculous beliefs and practices of this insidious, brainwash-happy organization, some of what is presented may be old news.  But this episode offers a very rare glimpse of what the Scientologists, specifically Tommy Davis (a spokesperson for the organization), do when someone tries to expose them or portray them in a bad light (should I be worried?).  Tommy stops at nothing, following and spying on the reporter, yelling it him in that scary-calm, Tom Cruise-ish way, and attempting to sabotage the shoot at every turn.  The Scientologists attempt to put a good face on things at first, showing off their tacky mansion house and bringing out the loony bin of celebrities (like that chick that played Stacy in Saved by the Bell,  Leah whatever the fuck, who looked recently like she was plotting to convert Tyra Banks…don’t fall for it Ty!) and then refusing to grant interviews when the word “cult” is mentioned.  They all deny the Xenu story and refuse to talk about Thetans, despite the celebs’ Operating Thetan levels being well known and talked about.  Their main trick seems to be digging up some sort of dirt, true or not, and then relentlessly mud-slinging until their opponents are, to their minds at least, discredited.  Fuckers.  One thing I’m glad Sweeney pointed out during his tour of the Celebrity Center is the callousness with which Scientology uses the horrors of the Holocaust for their own purposes, i.e. to criticize psychiatry.  They basically call anyone who believes in the legitimacy of psychiatry a Nazi sympathizer, despite the fact that many of their Thetan-reducing techniques involve understanding how childhood traumas have influenced their actions.  But unlike psychiatrists, Scientologists blame those devils inside people for all their negative actions, forgoing personal responsibility.  This is the trick of Scientology, much like psychic readers and other fortune tellers: instead of focusing on community like some religions, the entire structure of the religion is based on self-absorption and navel gazing, finding a way to blame everything on outside evils.  Perfect for people with larger-than-life egos like Tom Cruise, no?

The sad part in all this is that I used to be a really big Beck fan, and I could tolerate him simply being a Scientologist, but then he had to marry Marisa Ribisi, the chick who used to date Jason Lee.  For those who don’t know, the Ribisis, i.e. Giovanni and Marisa and the rest of their wacked-out family, are one of the head Scientology families, next to TomKat and their “baby” (even if Tom could get hard for a woman, that baby is fucking Asian!).  Anyway, it’s just sad to imagine Beck stressing out about his fucking Thetans, when he should be worrying about where it’s at, and/or sleeping with me.

Oh well.  Religion in general is on the decline, so we can only hope that Scientology dies along with the rest of the cults and sects and transcendental meditation practices.  Until then, at least they’re good for some laughs.  Now to get that restraining order I’ve been thinking about…