The View (the bar, not the fine television series)

Ah, rotating restaurants. For a classy time, 70’s-style, there’s no smoother way to eat than in a restaurant built like a merry-go-round. Far from the nauseating experience you might expect after seeing Johnny Depp try in vain to disembark from the crazily rotating bar at Circus Circus in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, actual rotating restaurants, at least according to our experiences at The View, spin at such an indiscernible rate that you wouldn’t believe you were spinning if not for the ever-changing view. This fine bar/restaurant, on the 47th and 48th floors of the Times Square Marriott Marquis hotel, offers the kind of sophisticated dining experience appropriate for out-of-town guests, or anyone who likes to gaze at panoramic views while downing martinis. All the drinks are well made here, but when you order a martini, they bring you the shaker with an extra few shots for when your drink needs freshening. It’s like when you order a milkshake at a diner and they give you the metal cup with more milkshake. But with liquor.

Another bonus is the innovative napkins adorned with a map of the buildings you may see while on your skyscraper safari. Informative and absorbent. But it was without the aid of any napkin that Liz and I brilliantly discovered that one of the buildings we kept drifting past was, indeed, the office belonging to the makers of, or at least somebody involved with, Spongebob Squarepants, due to the unusually large number of Spongebob toys and accessories adorning the many visible offices. We also noted that it must be awfully depressing for these late-working office people, who are forced to gaze across the way at people getting drunk and having a rotatin’ good time.

But the best, and worst, thing about The View is the buffet. It’s the worst thing because we’re always too cheap to get it, but it looks awesome. And let me point out that it isn’t just a regular buffet. There’s also a dessert buffet, complete with a fountain spewing forth, not water, but warm melted chocolate. There are also a million kinds of pastries, candy, and even a variety of cheeses to choose from. Every now and then some rich tourist buys their kids a ticket to the dessert-stravaganza, and the delight in those little kids’ eyes is something to behold. You see, in case you forgot, there’s a chocolate fountain.

In conclusion, if you’re ever looking for a dining and/or drinking experience that involves a fun glass express elevator, slightly-overpriced but well-made cocktails, and a buffet so tantalizing it must have been forged by Lucifer himself, look no further than The View. But if you want to go to a bar owned by Jay-Z, don’t come here. You’re thinking of 40-40.