The Top 8 Dinners
8. Fondue
Any meal composed almost entirely of melted cheese automatically earns a spot in my heart, as well as on this list. However, I’m not falling for those trendy restaurants that serve up various versions of fondue that in no way resemble real fondue, like chocolate or broth for dipping meat into. Yes, I know that fondue only means melted. Still, it’s stupid.
7. The Buffet
If there’s one thing better than a delicious food, it’s unlimited portions of that food, served alongside unlimited portions of every other food you can remotely conceive of. What a concept!
6. Meatloaf
As good old American comfort foods go, in my mind, nothing beats the classic meatloaf and mashed potatoes with gravy. Then again, gravy automatically grants pretty much any food ‘comfort’ status.
5. Spaghetti and Meatballs
Yes, this is another dish featuring molded ground meat, but this time it features all the flavors of Italy. Note that I don’t mess with Spaghetti-O’s, canned Spaghetti and Meatballs, or frozen dinner spaghetti. All of these things suck.
4. Tacos
Whether crunchy or soft, chicken or beef (but I draw the line at goat), tacos are delicious. There’s no meal that can’t be improved with a side of taco, so it pays to have a supply at hand at all times.
3. Churrascaria
One major step up from the common buffet, the South American-born Churrascaria is the closest most people will come to a kingly feast. After dining upon the finest of salad bars/buffets, you sit and wait for the dozens of waiters to come around to your table to slice off slabs of a truly astounding number of different kinds of meat, which are skewered onto large swords, gaucho style. Anything that decadent has to be a good idea.
2. Steak
For birthdays, anniversaries, or any other event that necessitates a meal with class, you really only have a few choices: lobster, trendy Japanese fusion cuisine, and of course, steak. I go with steak every time. From the filet mignon to the decadent porterhouse to my personal favorite, the ribeye, nothing says indulgence like a mouthful of animal fat.
1. Thanksgiving Dinner
Truly the king of dinners, Thanksgiving Dinner offers something few other meals can boast: multiple pies. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, a world without pie is a world without value. Thanksgiving is a day where you’re allowed, nay, expected, to make a complete pig of yourself, and I respect that. Sure, it’s all in the name of a race of people our nation systematically exploited and slaughtered, but you’ll forget that by your third slice of pumpkin pie.
