A Letter from Liz’s High School
Liz recently received this unfortunate letter in the mail.
Click on the image to zoom in. Text transcription below.
Dear Ms. (Last name removed for secrecy purposes),
It has come to our attention that we have made an unfortunate mistake regarding your academic records. We were glancing through your permanent records the other day and noticed what appeared to be drug-related subject matter in one of your fine and witty essays. Due to school policy, this essay is unacceptable and has been retroactively subtracted from your grade in Senior English. Thus, you have received a non-passing grade in the class, disqualifying you from the graduation you falsely enjoyed. In addition, your alma mater, the University of Arizona, has informed us that your enrollment has been cancelled due to your lack of a high school diploma.
We are terribly sorry for the inconvenience, and recommend ITT Tech strongly.
Principal (last name removed, this time for fear of retribution)
i.e. Mary Jane