Liz and Laura Go to White Castle

Having hailed from Tucson, Arizona, where the idea of consuming tiny  burgers and other hilariously small delicacies was but a dream, we were more than pleased to find upon moving to Greenwood Heights that but one block from our humble apartment shone the inviting signs of cuisine-masters White Castle. The awesomeness of a certain film makes this establishment even the more enticing. And so, on one particularly hungry evening, Liz and Laura ventured to this Mecca of tiny dinners.

On the way, what should we pass but the seemingly innocent marquee for the elementary school down the street from us. Gifted elementary school, at that.  Now, we don’t want to be too cheeky here, but jeepers this “lighthouse” looks like something we’ve both encountered on more than one drunken occasion. What designer created this madness and which school official approved its erection (heh) I cannot say, but perhaps they should be fired.

Here’s a closeup for the poor in eyesight. Just look at that “Knowledge” spurting forth from the lighthouse of learning.

After this hilarious, yet disturbing distraction, we were finally on the lot of our palacial dinner spot.

Once inside, the glaring lights and disgruntled night-shift workers welcomed us into their world and we took a moment to give thanks to the powers that be for offfering so many tantalizing treats at such affordable prices.

What to order!? Undoubtedly a handful of burgers is essential, but one would also do well not to ignore the wonder that is fried chicken in ring form. And as if that weren’t amazing enough, every few months as a special promotion they’ll add flavored powder to your order. My oh my!

As we awaited our morsels, what did Liz spy but the very answer to Laura’s recent unemployment, the opportunity to spend hours on end in the very palace where dreams are made.  Unfortunately, Laura wasn’t qualified for the position. They ended up choosing a recent Harved grad who’d interned at In and Out.

No need for tears though, for dream jobs may come and go, but tiny treasures bought on impulse will brighten any man’s sorrow.

Pockets loaded with cheap plastic rings and Homies, who even in their tinyness manage to look hardcore, we were finally on our way home to demolish our meal.

And as we walked proudly toward home, Liz was heard to say “You know Laura, it’s times like these I’m glad to call you my friend. Let’s never not eat burgers again.”

The End?