The 10 Most Irritating Celebrities
10. Rachael Ray
Don’t you just want to rip her squawky head off sometimes?
9. Ty Pennington
Sure, he does lots of noble work for kids, and he’s beloved by the nation. But he acts like a cartoon character on speed, and it’s hard to listen to any of the sentimental schlop he’s spewing because I’m too busy staring at his hairdo and Ken doll outfit. He’s the definition of asexual.
8. Ann Coulter
Hideous. Bitch.
7. Criss Angel
I will never understand how magicians get to go out with Hollywood starlets. It boggles the mind. Criss Angel is said to have graced the arms of Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz. I ask you, how?!
6. Donald Trump
If life itself had a Dos and Don’ts list, Donald Trump would be a big fat don’t. I don’t care how young he likes ‘em or how many billions of dollars of fake money he has, the man is a tasteless douchebag and I never want to see his face on TV again.
5. Jay Leno
“Headlines” is cool, but other than that, everything on The Tonight Show sucks ass. This man needs to retire pronto, while he still has a scrap of dignity.
4. Ryan Seacrest
If you were to look up “bland” in the dictionary, there would be a picture of this young man. The problem is that he is completely inoffensive and politically correct. Who wants to tune in to a TV personality with less edge than Katie Couric? The people want Conan O’Brien and Sarah Silverman, not Carson Daly and Mark McGrath.
3. Sylvia Browne, TV Psychic
This woman is profiting off the misery of others, and I can’t tell whether she’s doing it intentionally or whether she really believes the hackneyed bullcrap issuing from her flappety mouth. Either way, I hate her.
2. Tom Cruise
So you think you’re some kind of messiah, don’t you? Don’t you, Tommy? Back when he had Rosie on his side, it was marginally plausible that Mr. Cruise was a normal non-cult-related guy, but times they have changed. Now he’ll be lucky if he doesn’t get little Suri taken away like the Spears children.
1. George W. Bush
If he isn’t a celebrity, I don’t know who is, and I think we can all agree he’s irritating as hell. I mean, there’s a kind of innocent charm about the guy, but that whole ‘destroying any chance Western Civilization had to survive the 21st Century’ thing kind of turns me off.
Published October 16th, 2007.
See more Features, Celebrity Douchebaggery
Tagged with celebrities, lists, Rachael Ray, The Tonight Show, Tom Cruise
Thanks Sean!! I really appreciate it. It’s been a while since I wrote that article, so a lot of things have changed, and hopefully my writing has gotten a bit better, but I’m glad you liked it!
Laura: You are funny as hell. I always consider most Americans hypocrites, but you are a breath of fresh air. I don’t agree with every comment you made on those people, but I surely love your honesty, straightforwardness and no nonsense approach…just love it!
I never thought I’d actually miss Billy Mays!
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I don’t need to know every detail about somebody’s situation to comment on them, it’s my right, so suck it, Anonymous.
Your comments are tasteless and you don’t know what you’re talking about. Unless you know a person and their situation you shouldn’t judge them. You are obviously a very ignorant person and should expose yourself as “Most Irritating Blogger.”
L&L love Sarah Silverman.
uhm…so sarah silverman should DEFINITELY be on this list
I decided I loved this article as soon as I saw Ann Coulter on this list. Hate her lots.
Where’s Paris Hilton? Lindsey Lohan? Kim Kardashian? Sorry, you only got Tom Cruise right
I’m sorry if some of this came off as mean-spirited, but if you did want to see some Britney-mocking, check this out: http://www.lizandlaura.com/2007/12/15/the-2007-celebrity-superlatives-the-best-worst-and-freakiest/
I agree on some of these, but other are really just plain mean.
And most of these “celebrities” aren’t all over the palce, and not very irritating.
Wheres Britney Spears, or Miley Cyrus? Those two are truely in the press too much and are very iritating. Or Hillary Duff, Steve-o [who could really just stop throwing up and would be fine with me] there are so many diffrent people who would come to mind of iritating before most of these people. Except Tom Cruis.
He’s crazy.
Don’t worry, it made us both laugh and think. I love the idea of celebrity world-savers. That was my favorite part of Zoolander…the impeccable logic of the scene where they set up just why models make such good international spies.
I thought it might make them laugh.
wow, that other gentleman wrote a lot. i was just gonna say “funny.”
Say what you will about anyone else, but Chris Angel is quite possibly the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, never thought he would be a sweet ass magician did you? You know when he floats, yeah, he really fucking floats, when he walks on water, he really fucking walks on water. He uses props to make people think its a trick just so that he doesnt get all taken to the stake an all, but he is the real deal.
Thousands of years after we are all dead and gone, there are going to be people reading the gospels of how Chris Angel, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan, saved the world from the forces of evil. You just wait and watch, it is going to be the best television show ever, I already have my years supply of popcorn so that when it finally goes down, I can sit back and watch the world get saved.
Its totally going to be like Desert Storm was in the early 90’s except its going to be so much more badass and there are going to be great lines in it like … “Yeah youve heard of France, but you never thought Paris would kick your ass!” and then Chris Angel gets in a disguise, and its totally on YouTube, and he infiltrates the CIA and we totally watch the whole thing, while he Mind Freaks all of them and their ears start bleeding. Lindsey Lohan, you just wait and watch, you might not know this but her WishList on Amazon.com is full of books on programming, and Black Hat Hacking, she is playing it all cool like she doesnt know what she is doing, but the clubs she goes to are secret black hat vendetta conferences where everyone speaks in code.
you think shes ordering an Airplane Martini, but really she is passing along the password to get into the most badass database of all of the people that she is going to bring to their knees. They are the real deal in terms of putting the kabash on political corruption. They are so good at what they do, they figure why not make it look like a party the whole time, and you know what, I think its brilliant because who would ever suspect a power alliance of the intelligentsia elite to be training in the dance clubs under some hot beats preparing to go down in history as the team of people that serepticiously saved the whole fucking world.
You know that when the four of them lock arms their skin glows right? Thats how you know they are for real. If your skin glew, and thats the first ever past tense use of the word glow, ever, well if our skin glew then we would know that it was up to us, ours doesnt but theirs does, thats how they know and Criss Angel he is totally the leader because he has spent the longest amount of time harnessing his powers and he sees Britney, Lindsey, and Paris as having the raw unharnessed powers necessary to do the ultimate good, for all of us.
If you hold a candle up to the last page of the Book of Revelation, and let the page get kind of warm ya know? Youll see four names appear, Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Chris Angel. Try it. These are the end times and I cant wait to watch coverage on Best Week Ever on VH1.
I cannot wait until they finally hatch their plans, I am seriously going to TiVo Armegeddon, its going to be awesome.