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Vice President Richard B. Cheney   vs.Henry F. Potterfrom It’s a Wonderful LifeWhite haired, balding, bespectacled politician with extensive business interests which have made him a millionaire. Since working with Nixon in the ’60’s, he has been plotting to centralize the power of the Executive branch, something he’s arguably already accomplished as Vice President under [...]

Everyone knows that besides the promise of eating pie to the point of bursting, the best part about finally reaching the end of the year is that it marks the gift giving season. While the holidays are excellent for all the feasting and togetherness that come along with them, not to mention the time off [...]

Here’s one thing that pisses me off: women who act like picking out a wedding dress is a legitimate science worthy of academic pursuit. With absolute panic in their eyes, they say things like “My husband’s family booked a daytime outdoor wedding on a cruise ship, but I bought a floor-length gown with a [...]

So I was walking down Fifth Avenue in Manhattan one day a couple of months ago, and I passed by the HSBC tower, a towering phallic monument to commerce that’s just a few short blocks from Bryant Park and is somehow constantly surrounded by a sea of office workers. I went to use the [...]

 It was about this time last year we unveiled to you, our fortunate fans, the secrets of the long-forgotten holiday, Weedsgiving. In “The First Weedsgiving,” we delighted readers young and old with a timeless tale of peoples coming together to share a very special harvest. Here is the sacred scroll which tells [...]

1. Charisma2. Zac3. Condoleeza4. Qortni (yes, it’s real, I know a kid named this)5. Tavis6. Dwayne7. Chad8. Faith (unless the rest of your name is “No More”)9. Prudence10. Wolf11. Penisface

You hear a lot about the First World and the Third World, but you never hear about the Second World.  What’s going on with them?  Are they Europe, and we’re just afraid to call them that?

How weird is this? I was waiting in line to pay at my local deli, which is owned by a really nice Korean couple, and this construction guy in front of me suddenly asks me to explain to the deli woman that state quarters are real.It took me a moment to realize he was [...]

 In the wild, animals are forced to defend themselves using whatever tools they have at their disposal, whether it be showing off their bright colors, emitting nasty smells, or the ever popular method of making intimidating noises. Sometimes these tools are used for other purposes as well, such as asserting dominance over the quivering prey [...]